So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
