Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
