Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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