alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
