I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
