Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
