Your mouth is God's brothel.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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