my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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