sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she looked like the before picture.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
