best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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