This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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