I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
