She's JV to your varsity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
