Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
