That's when you crack a 10am beer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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