Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
