Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i don't like sucking hair
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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