i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
