I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
