You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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