Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
