We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you would pick up someone in the library
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
