that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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