I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
