so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
