I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
