I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to calm my uterus...
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