I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
