Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
