Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
