The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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