Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
