Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
