He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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