they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
