Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
vagina is talking i cant
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
