I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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