it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
