i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
