Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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