I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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