i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
