if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
