As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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