did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
