my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
