I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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