Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
