I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
