Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
