The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Panties = found
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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